Shoe Size:
A 6, but a 7 feels so good that I wear an 8 1/2.

Sexual Orientation: 
Straight.

Do you Smoke? 
Cigarettes? Never. Pot? On a rare occasion.

Do you Drink?
Once in a while. I'm pretty low maintenance. A bottle of Grey Goose and I'm good to go.

Do you Take Drugs? 
I don't consider weed a drug.

Age you get mistaken for: 
19

Have Tattoos? 
Nope. I know no matter what I get done I'll come to regret it in 20 years.

Want any tattoos? 
See above

Got any Piercings? 
Ears

Want any piercings? 
Nein.

Best friend?
Jen!

Relationship status: 
Forever alone.

Biggest fears: 

Ceasing to exist. Not necessarily dying, just my soul evaporating into thin air. And crickets jumping in my face.

A fact about your personality:
I'm inconsistent in almost every way possible. Bonus: I'm a self-loathing misanthrope!

What I love most about myself: 
My exquisite wit.

A description of the girl/boy I like: 
There's no one in particular, but they usually tend to be either dead, over 50, or European.
 

What I hated the most about school: 
The pettiness.

What words upset me the most: 
"You're such a cunt, Lisa."

What words make me feel the best about myself: 
"I'm just kidding, Lisa, you're not a cunt."

Where I would like to live:
Carmel-by-the-sea

My childhood career choice:
Lawyer\Artist\Actress\Ambassador\Supermodel\Archaeologist\Televangelist

Who I wish I could be:
Scarlett Johansson back when she was weird and had that cool mullet.